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Nah, thats Paris. Nice is on the south coast.
and this is why I don’t eat cereal very often…..
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Saw this and thought of you.
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I understand completely, politics is a fickle mistress.
Get started now, perfect christmas present!
OMG….Want sooo bad.
Shame the boy is too young and I am too old.
- Don’t be a whiner. Nobody likes a whiner, not even other whiners. Just accept that I ain’t fucking running and I’ll stop whining.
- Walking out the door is often the toughest part of a run. The second toughest part is surviving the actual run.
- Don’t make running your life. Make it part of your life. (aimed squarely at Misadventures in Parenting) read this one again please, you seem to have misunderstood and got it backwards.
- During group training runs, don’t let anyone run alone. Any interfering bastard that thinks I want company while running is going to get a smack in the teeth.
- Keep promises, especially ones made to yourself. But only promise yourself nice things, like cream cakes, not running.
- When doing group runs, start on time no matter who’s missing. Because people with family emergencies just love turning up 5 minutes late and finding that their “friends” have fucked off without them
- The faster you are the less you should talk about your times. Only talk about your times with interested people. Otherwise you are the excercise equivilent of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
- Keep a quarter in your pocket. One day you’ll need to call for a ride. Although running to the nearest pay-phone these days is probably further than you intended to run in the first place.
- Don’t compare yourself to other runners. Unless they are on The Biggest Loser.
- All runners are equal, some are just faster than others. And the faster ones win the races which means they are better. Where did you learn the meaning of the word “Equal”?
- Keep in mind that the later in the day it gets, the more likely it is that you won’t run. If you make it all the way to bed time you can go to sleep happy that you avoided it all day.
- For a change of pace, get driven out and then run back. People that dump you in the middle of nowhere seldom want you back.
- If it was easy, everybody would be a runner. Being fat and lazy is easy, why isn’t everyone fat and lazy? Stupid logic is stupid.
- When standing in starting lines, remind yourself how fortunate you are to be there. Because when you get to the end you’ll be so knackered you will not feel fortunate. Enjoy the calm before the storm.
- Getting out of shape is much easier than getting into shape. And much more fun.
- A bad day of running still beats a good day at work. Unless you are a professional runner.
- Talk like a runner. “Singlets” are worn on warm days. “Tank tops” are worn to the beach. This goes to show that runners talk like knobs.
- Don’t talk about your running injuries. People don’t want to hear about your sore knee or black toe. Your doctor might.
- Don’t always run alone. You look less of a twat in a flock of twats
- Don’t always run with people. Lets face it, who wants to hang out with runners, amiright?
- Approach running as if the quality of your life depended on it. Depart from running with the same philosophy.
- No matter how slow you run it is still faster than someone sitting on a couch. But that couch potato is less sweaty and more comfortable than you.
- Keep in mind that the harder you run during training, the luckier you’ll get during racing. Although if you expend you energy running do you really want to feel exhausted when you “get lucky”?
- Races aren’t just for those who can run fast. Otherwise who would the fast people beat?
- There are no shortcuts to running excellence. TL:DR
- The best runs sometimes come on days when you didn’t feel like running. These days usually end with the letter “Y”
- Be modest after a race, especially if you have reason to brag. So STFU, nobody wants to hear that you ran from A-B half a second faster than when you did the same run 3 week previously. Its still way faster to drive.
- If you say, “Let’s run this race together,” then you must stay with that person no matter how slow. If they say “No, fuck off leave me be.” Do not sign them up to gym membership and try to emotionally blackmail them into going.
- Think twice before agreeing to run with someone during a race. Although as a runner you may have diffculty thinking once let alone twice. Best leave it to those who exercise their brains not just their legs.
- There is nothing boring about running. There are, however, boring people who run. They are called “Runners”
- Look at hills as opportunities to pass people. Especially if, at the bottom of the hill you remember what you learned in point No.8
- Distance running is like cod liver oil. At first it makes you feel awful, then it makes you feel better. Distance running cannot be taken in handy capsule form and be done for the day in a matter of seconds though so its a pretty bad analogy.
- Never throw away the instructions to your running watch. Some of the really expensive ones actually tell the time and you don’t want to miss some kick ass TV while you are out running.
- Don’t try to outrun dogs. Some dogs are neglected by their owners and need to be fed too, runners make a nice handy snack for a pack of neglected dogs.
- Don’t trust runners who show up at races claiming to be tired, out of share, or not feeling well. Especially if they suggest a little bet on the outcome of the race to “make things interesting.”
- Don’t wait for perfect weather. If you do, you won’t run very often. If you live in England this is, however, a perfect way to avoid running.
- When tempted to stop being a runner, make a list of the reasons you started. If “Hungry Lion” appears in the top 5 reasons then keep bloody running.
- Never run alongside very old or very young racers. They get all of the applause. But perhaps you can pretend the applause is for you and that all your effort and hard work actually make a difference to the world.
- Without goals, training has no purpose. Neither has football.
- During training runs, let the slowest runner in the group set the pace. And be sure to point this out to them to really make them feel self-conscious.
- The first year in a new age group offers the best opportunity for trophies. Not sure what this one means but I think I need to contact CEOP.
- Go for broke, but be prepared to be broken. Because everyone loves pointing at people with broken lives, dreams and legs. It makes them laugh and feel warm inside.
- Spend more time running on the roads than sitting on the couch. Into oncoming traffic will be fine.
- Make progress in your training, but progress at your own rate. After all you don’t want to rush into working on the “up” when you have barely mastered the “sit”.
- “Winning” means different things to different people. For example winning for me is eating 3 chicken kebabs without vomiting.
- Unless you make your living as a runner, don’t take running too seriously. Too many words. should read “Don’t take running seriously.”
- Runners who never fail are runners who never try anything great. Although there is only so much room in the history books for “Great” people, lets not take it away from people that actually improve the world.
- Never tell a runner that he or she doesn’t look good in tights. Anyone that can’t see that for themselves has no place in an intelligent conversation anyway.
- Never confuse the Ben-Gay tube with the toothpaste tube. Same goes for KY.
- Never apologize for doing the best you can. Unless doing the best you can involves multiple deaths.
- Preventing running injuries is easier than curing them. So sit the fuck down and stop running around like children.
- Running is simple. Don’t make it complicated. Sitting is simpler.
- Running is always enjoyable. Sometimes, though, the joy doesn’t come until the end of the run. When you stop running.
Sadly it is not just back water regions of the that have to contend with religious bullshit.
Come on Australia, I thought you were better than this.